A Feast of Love, Brought To You by Craigslist

September 5, 2007 | Written by clarke

One of my favorite guilty pleasures online is scouring the section of craigslist.org called Missed Connections

Even the most mundane postings are, in my opinion, riveting.

Part of the appeal of Missed Connections is the romantic notion that you might be reconnected with someone you’ve seen in passing on a city street or random subway car, if they fatefully happen to be looking at the right site on the right day. While I’m all in favor of this romance, I am a bit dubious about the percentage of Missed Connections postings that have actually resulted in a happy union between strangers (though the site is currently compiling Missed Connections success stories, possibly for a documentary). But regardless of how effective it is in coupling people off, Missed Connections remains a fascinating phenomenon for multiple reasons:

1. In a city distinctively adorned with status symbols and frequently separated by race/class, Missed Connections transcends the boundaries of socio-economic background, sexual orientation, and even age. There are postings from every corner of every borough, some describing well-groomed Park Avenue beauties, some about Williamsburg hipsters, some written by jaded middle-aged people, some from wide-eyed twenty year olds, gay people, straight people, etc. It’s just as much a melting pot as the city itself is.
2. It’s a collective art project: some of the postings are as elegantly crafted as a haiku or limerick. It’s obvious that the authors put effort into their creations with the knowledge that the general public has access to their words, not just the object of their affection. It is a true forum for self-expression instead of just an online bathroom wall to be anonymously scrawled on.
3. Many postings are written by men and women who are utterly hopeless that their crush will ever read their piece, or by people who have no intention of ever confronting their crushes (the “You’re my married neighbor, so this would never work” or “I am your boss so this would be entirely inappropriate” category) but who are still desperate to spill their guts. So in this sense, it is a public diary where the anonymity of the Internet allows people to profess their feelings of tenderness for strangers, co-workers, ex-wives, etc. In this way, Missed Connections is a receptacle of emotion that probably helps to keep scores of edgy, repressed New Yorkers more psychologically fit than they might otherwise be. It’s like therapy, but free.
4. In a roundabout way, it promotes togetherness: although both the process of viewing Missed Connections and creating a Missed Connections post are completely anonymous, its function is to lessen the anonymity both of the city and of the Internet itself. Many popular so-called ‘social-networking’ sites encourage users to bask in the anonymity of the Internet (think about how easy it is to stalk people on MySpace or Facebook from the comfort of your own home). Missed Connections does the opposite by encouraging users to leave the comfort of online interactions and venture back into the real world.

I’m considering starting to submit daily Missed Connections posts about people I encounter on my way to work. They would be more friendly than lovelorn, I think—while I don’t routinely fall in love on the subway, I am a careful observer of other people’s clothing and choice of reading material. Something along the lines of “This morning on the Q train. You: bespectacled man reading Kafka. Me: brunette in yellow blouse. I just wanted you to know I liked your bowtie”. It might be a nice way to give back to a website that has provided me with countless hours of entertainment.

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